Being tired…

January 13, 2008

You know, there are these days, in which you are really busy. Those days in which you got so much to do, making it impossible to handle all those things. You’re staying up late, real late in order to try to fill this gap, to get more work done. But the more you try, the worse it gets.

You stay up late, and do stuffs you need to do, or maybe things you want to do, and then maybe 2 AM or 3 AM you’re going to sleep. And then when you get up, finally, you take a look at the clock near you and you figure, you slept all day long. Damn it, again so much time was lost. And while you once again try to overcome this limit of time, you always stay up even longer, and longer. And you’re missing a day, and another day, and another…
While doing all this, you get confused, really confused. You’re asking yourself, what time is it now?, what day is it?, and you don’t really seem to know the answer, so you take a look at your calendar, and still, it doesn’t provide you with the information. Luckily there are digital clocks showing the date. All fine, you know the date again, you know what time it is, and you know where you are. But… that doesn’t solve your problem. You’re still asking, what’s going on? It always feels like you’re missing out something important. And then you’re guessing what it might be, but you wont find that part out, because it’s not there where you might be looking.

And this is the time, when you get tired, really tired, and then again you sleep a couple of days, bau yet again, this doesn’t solve the problem either. Just makes it worse, even.

And also, sometimes you can’t sleep all day long, sometimes you can’t get your work done, and sometimes, you can’t solve any of your problems. Sometimes you’re thinking, and on the other hand, there is nothing you seem to be able to figure out.

And you’re tired, really tired, walking through the day, and not even couple cups of coffee seem to help to get you awake. And it’s this thing, this kind of being tired, which kind of blows up your mind, makes you terribly confused, and uable to understand the simplest things. And even then, you can’t seem to get some sleep, sleep you so desperately need, because you don’t seem to have some time off, nor are even able to sleep at all, if you happen to have the time. It’s so horrible, you’re confused, and refuse to let things happen, even if you know they are going to happen anyway. And you don’t notice those things, because you’re so horribly tired. Sleepwalking all day long, neither really sleeping, nor being awake. And it’s driving you nuts, really nuts.

But yet again, you simply resign, and let it be. It happened, and you don’t seem to be able to do something against it.

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